Self-realization

My obsession if you could call it that used to be about the attainment of a deep and constant state of self-realization. I was sure it existed but I couldn’t find it! Then after a long long search, I actually did finally ‘find’ it! It happened after I read The untethered soul by Michael Singer and Right here right now by John Wheeler, and as well talked on the phone with Bob Adamson in Australia. He said to me You can’t actually get out of it and it was like Ohhhhhhh! but very quietly, and not instantly but as soon as I hung up the phone. (There had been a long period before that when I was having more and more insights and unloading and unloading the baggage – I had a lot!) I had thought self-realization meant everything always being wonderful but quickly discovered that that was idealistic. Mad really when I think about it now! But I can understand why I thought that because there’s a lot of writing out there about permanent bliss, amazing states, etc. What I did feel was completely at home in myself: Safe somehow, and aware in myself of which of my thoughts were true and which were just conditioning replaying itself. My problems didn’t disappear but they didn’t seem like problems anymore. There was much more to it and I wrote it all down over six months or so and in doing so created what I hope will be a good description of self-realization. I want to test this description in my research to make as sure as I can that it is valid. You can take part in this research by cutting and pasting this link into your browser:

https://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=BMN_2fI7MQbvITBu3kAdioVA_3d_3d

Now I come to my main reason for this blog. Afterwards, I retained the essence of my experience – it was as if I had been watching a TV screen which I was dimly aware had all over it the sun shining gently on it, and suddenly I switched perception and saw the pattern the sun made as well the TV programme playing in the background - but I often lost the feelings of peace and enjoyment that accompanied it. For two years I was puzzling about it – where was my self-realization! All that work! Had it been a dream – but it wasn’t, I knew that; so what on earth was happening! – then I read one of Gina Lake’s books in which she discusses the ‘afterwards’, and I understood. Phew! The upshot is that I would like to meet up with others in similar positions and exchange ideas and news.

Blog me back!

Lindy :)